LOST.

well, yesterday is over.
yeah, an event that happen yearly has past by me just like that. I did spend the day with some people close to me though. My soccer buddies -.-" but the whole day felt as though it was totally meaningless for me to do anything. In fact it was really sucky. Well I woke up early in the morning,earlier than my alarm was suppose to ring.I don't know why but recently everything been's going haywire you see.I cant sleep in peace, or at least I don't feel at ease when i woke up each morning. but anyway, I played some browser-based game on facebook ( mafia wars ) while waiting for time to fly past before heading down to henderson for soccer, okay, we started late. there were no other teams there at all. Usually there would be for us to play against. Damn it, I think all of them got a date on valentines day except us.

So we played for like 1 hour before it start to rain. Honestly it's damn crap. It was sunny yet drizzling heavily. Totally nonsense day man. Luckily my meal at tiong bahru plaza's QIJI was not bad if not I would be cursing away already by then. I don't know why but nowadays, I get annoyed real easy. zzz I think i'm like a time bomb. I'm just waiting for the fuse in my head to blow off before I go on a abusive rampage -.-" Zack was at TB too but I didn't know it until I called him to ask if he's going out in the afternoon. and so we went home after our lunch. It was a real short day for a normal saturday's soccer day but hell, I'm dead beat when I reached home.

I got so damn lazy to even go out to town to experience the "valentines" atmosphere. Haha, I bet town is filled with people holding hands, cuddling each other and all. Thank god I didnt go. I think if i had went there,I would be wondering when would it be my turn to hold someone who's dear to me. Shit.even my close buddies went on a double date yesterday.bloody loner me is at home getting lazy to walk around even in my own house. LOL. ahhh heck. someday.......

Monday i'm having my first paper and I totally dont even have the mood to study AT ALL. all I do is sit at my computer, see if there's something interesting happening on facebook and then chat online with whoever's online -.-" bad news is many were either out or those online were those I rarely talk to la so I think I spent more time listening to old classic malay songs la hor. =/ Listening to those songs, It just remind me of the good old days when I'm still living at Queenstown, I use to sing along with my sis when she was karaoking all the malay songs on the TV. Then me and my siblings would take turns to duet with each other. Hahaha, it was so much fun then laa.. but look at life now, everyone's leading their own life, we barely had time for such entertainment with each other. The bonding in our family isn't how it was like before. Now, practically everyone just do their own stuff and dont bother each other.Mum comes home, do some household chores and never fail to nag at me, each time asking me to either pray or clean up some stuff. And really although she mean well, but hearing that everyday surely wont make anyone feel good at all. My sister? I rarely see her at home, she's either out at work, or out with friends. Oh and on her clock, I don't think there's AM/PM. cause she can be even out at night feeling so fresh and energetic whereas I'm down here dying of sleepiness. Younger sis too, always cope up herself in the room, doing don't know god knows what, and her world is all about relationship with guys. Dad also do his own routine of course, come home from work, eat dinner, watch tv and then sleep. sad thing is now, due to some conflict he had in work and he doesn't want to complicate matters, he decided to quit. sigh. of all time, now...recession period.oh well, so where that does that leave me ? all alone, doing my own stuff also. school work, gymming and occassionally hang out late out with friends. It's like almost empty in my life. I don't feel the strong bonding in my family at all now

Yes of course occassionally we do go out, but it's only during special occassion. Even that, I feel awkward to express myself. In fact, i'm more natural and normal among my friends. I feel much more loosen up. However with them, it's a different story. Sigh, I don't know. Is it just me feeling this way or the others in the family too. I really hope some day, all of us, could put away with the worries we have in mind and spend more quality time as a family.

Dear Allah, please do make everything better for us.
You are the only one I can seek and turn to for help.
Please give us some guidance in life.
Amin.

well so that's a sneak-peek of how life is for me. Anyway after my nap in the afternoon, chat online with some people before watching the movie. Young and Dangerous 4. Well it's a chinese hongkong show, it's been out for sometime already, old movie but still a good watch. It's about the triad society and how people lead their life as rascals. Honestly I liked it a lot cause it's about their brotherhood and how they are willing to die for each other. Sometimes it's even saddening to a point that I could cry. Imagine someone whom had stood by you for years, go through real life threats together with you and he had to die in front of you.Or just the scenes of your girlfriend, someone you love so dearly, getting raped or killed. It's really sad to see all that...it also shows that gangster is not only all about fightings, riotings and uncivilised behaviour, but gangsters are also humans and that they also have a heart and a soft side to them. but anyway it's a movie which teaches me the values of loyalty and all, so I think it's pretty good ah. hahaha but some part are vulgar also la if you wanna learn, follow the good teachings from it and ignore the bad ones..hahaha However sad to say nowadays, those punks you see on the street are just a shame to the society. Seriously I think they should watch this show and perhaps after that, they would behave much more professionally like the leaders of gang in this movie.

SOOOOOOOO. what's in store for sunday. INDUSTRIAL AUTOMATION's revision. If I dont study tomorrow, I'M SO SCREWED. okay hahahah x)

Well Michelle was sweet to keep my accompany for long till the early hours of the morning. hahaha so yea I think I should mention her in my post today also for her kind deed. hahahah Thanks for keeping me accompany! x) AND AND AND SERIOUSLY THAT ROSE IS NICEE MAN. I think I really gonna learn how to make roses with clothes hohoho.