LOST.

well, not really. It's sucky to be feeling sick on a weekend, I don't think I can talk right now. My throat is causing me so much pain, it's like swelling and feels damn sore. My nose is jamming up and I'm feeling heavy in my head. Sian. Thankfully, it's a Sunday, a day which I will be usually be at home,hibernating or rotting my ass away.Hopefully today would be a slightly different day, I wanna finish up some overdue assignments.

Recently, since school started, I haven't been really motivated at all to study. In fact, I feel so damn rebellious and lazy. Each morning, I wake up with thought "wah freaking shit, so tired, don't feel like going school man" and it really sucks. It's so critical to the extend that, on friday when I'm supposed to go school, I didn't. If only there's something that could take away all these negative thoughts and make me look forward to school once again. School's tiring, results going downhill , long journey to school..all these simply just annoys me and make me feel like a loser. The bad thing about life is that, without education here in Singapore, you can hardly go far and be successful so no matter what, you have to keep studying and studying and earn yourself a certificate at least. It's either that, or you're damn rich till you can afford not to go school and retire in your teenage years. Or you have ideas and start to venture out on your own and try to make it successful. Those are the kind of people admire truly because they are willing to take risk and achieve something in life without much education. Oh well, but looking at me , it's better that I stick to the normal boring route of life , study , get my ass out of school with a certificate and go out to find work.

I'm hoping for a change someday though, perhaps when I'm older and much more experienced about life, I would have the guts to try big things on my own, make it big by myself and make everyone around me proud..Well, isn't that what everyone wants ? A sense of satisfaction and happiness.

Just looking at things at the present state, It's not satisfactory at all. My life seems so bleak. On weekdays, I drag my ass to school to seat through long hours from 8 to 5 and occassionally I would hit the gym with my classmates. However this is not the case for now, I have stopped gyming currently. And on weekends I woke up early in the morning just to go down to henderson to play soccer. And on Sunday, I sit my boring ass in front of this computer just to rant about how sucky life is and starts to wonder how life would be tomorrow. I don't even have a love life to even talk about . I really hope all this would start to change someday.

Chinese New year is coming in soon, it's the year of Ox next. Does this have anything in store for me? Hmm.. I wonder.